My Mental State

"breath, breath, breath, walk, step over mantle, sip...Not too quick, it's hot!, ...Needs some cream, but you already sat down, get up, walk, walk..." This was a paraphrased version of my internal monologue yesterday at the coffee shop. My mind may just be collapsing from the pressure. I watched all 5 seasons of Scrubs over the Summer, and Zach Braff's character always has some sort of internal monologue going (kinda like Wonder Years, except in his present voice and in first person), which may explain my own internal monologue. I also recently finished Dostoevsky "Notes from the Underground", which explains how the monologue can sometimes be both unyieldingly narcissistic and overwhelmingly self-deprecating("We met the first day of class, why doesn't that guy ever say 'hi' did I do something wrong? He's probably just threatened by your awesometitude"). I'm also not having any significant conversations unless I'm on the phone or on-line, which explains why the internal monologue often develops into dialogue("I wonder what the deal is with this whole 'popped collar' phenomenon"; "I don't know, why don't you look it up on wikipedia"; "Yea, good idea, I'm sure they'll have some sort of explanation...Hey look, an entire article!"; "See, told you, wikipedia's the best!"; "true that!" ). That was this morning.

The last week was intense and this week, despite hopes beyond hopes, isn't looking out to be much different. There was a quiz yesterday in Computer Security, which I think I may have just pwn3d. I have a presentation due today, but it's with a group and our leader guy will be doing practically all of the talking. There's a paper review and a test tomorrow in Packet Switching. there's another low-level programming assignment due in Embedded Systems due Thursday night. Lastly, homework#2 is due on Monday for Web Security and Privacy, and I haven't even looked at it. When I say 'homework' that sounds like a miniscule amount of work, but 'homework'#1 (which I pwn3d 100%) involved writing a small program that cracks RSA using the extended Euclidean Algorithm. Sleep has obviously found its way into the expendable department and my waking hours are spent on reading tech papers, powerpoint slides, and programming.