My Temple of Efficiency

My fifth week as an intern has just come to a close. I haven’t written in a while; perhaps due to lack of content, perhaps due to my own laziness, perhaps because vacation alleviates the guilt resulting from spending too much time playing Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne. In any case I’m writing now, as things have slowed down at work and I’ve been getting my ass continuously handed to me by both Night Elves and Undead. That and the loss of my mouse makes it impossible to implement my l33t strat against those dirty elves.

I've been spending my weekends visiting the typical touristy sites here. Last Saturday I spent an entire day at an art museum because the two tours I wanted to go on had a five hour gap. I've been watching a movie every weekend as well. Last week was "Black Book", WWII spy story set in Holland. This week will be "A Mighty Heart". Of course, I'm hyped beyond words for the Transformers movie.

As I mentioned I’ve had five full weeks of a real 40-hour-work-week. Let me remind you this is not something I am familiar with. While in school I’m positive I average 50-60 hours a week of solid work. I made my own hours and started and stopped at my own discretion (and often regretted it afterwards). The past three weeks, I’ve been committed to a stringent schedule (be here at this time and leave at this time, give or take an hour). Much less wiggle room than what I’m accustomed to.

Through the rigors of routine and protocol, I started to notice the wonderful array of unspoken, unwritten laws we encounter every day. Society has somehow forged an array of implicit rules that we, as individuals, have, almost magically, absorbed and interpreted as the standard for interacting or not interacting with one another. You can name the simple ones quite quickly: Do not cut in line, do not talk with your mouth full, do feign some affection when someone shows you their newborn baby, no matter how ugly or gargantuan-headed it may be. These rules are not documented. There is no threat of repercussion when we disobey, but we generally abide by them nonetheless, even though most babies are ugly and, much like lawyers, a drain on society. Anyway, I want to take up space on the internet and discuss some rules that have come to my attention.

The men's room is a temple of efficiency. Therefore, There shalt be no social interaction in the men's room, unless ye be 'toasted' or injured. Some corollaries: no talking, no eye contact, no utilization of an unoccupied urinal adjacent to an occupied urinal(unless it is the only available choice). I find these rules, nay laws, are generally accepted, especially in public restrooms. However, I've observed at my place of work that this is not the case. When I walk in and someone recognizes me, I am met with a hearty 'hello!' or 'top'o th'mornin' to ya!' (There's a few Irish dudes at work. Ok, I'm lying because I would almost let that one go). If someone else comes in and recognizes me, again I'm greeted just the same (in mid stream, people! mid stream!). What I find most striking is strangers in the facility. Some folks who don't even know you will give you a general greeting, perhaps just a nod of the head. Complete strangers! greeting me in the MEN's room! If this is where society is headed, I want no part of it.Next, I want to discuss hallway etiquette. The distance that is acceptable for you to greet someone, either by hand or verbally, is positively correlated to your degree of camaraderie with the greeted and negatively correlated to your difference in rank. For example, if I see my supervisor three (hierarchical) levels above me from 200 meters, there will be no acknowledgment from either of us. However, if we were to continue walking towards each other and the distance between us reduced to 10 meters, there would certainly be pleasantries exchanged. On the other hand, if someone of the same rank or an acquaintance were approaching me from the same 200 meters, a friendly hand gesture of 'hello' should not be surprising.

With hallway greetings comes the issues of gait. Gait can communicate much of information, but most of it is beyond the scope of this blog. That said, let's take a concrete example where gait communicate the desire or disdain for further interaction. Say Jamie passes Alex in the hallway(you'll notice the names are asexual for your feminists who have not discovered the wonders of un-bunched panties), and the following dialog ensues:

J: Hey, Ashe, how are you?
A: I'm fine, thanks. And yourself?
J: Good to hear. I'm fine as well.

Now, what follows is completely dependent on the gait of the two individuals involved. That is, a decrease in speed in one's gait indicates a desire to communicate further. An unchanged gait indicates indifference. An increase in velocity indicates a desire to avoid communication altogether. If Alex observes Jaime decelerate, then it is expected of Alex to also slow down and possibly come to a complete halt for the sake of entertaining whatever babbling small talk Jaime is interested in initiating.

That's it for now. I think I'm doing ok, generally. I'm enjoying my job. I'm getting intimate with a new city. My thesis was in the backseat until about a week ago, but I recently felt guilty enough to start hitting the books/papers again. I realized I'll always have trouble making friends. I only end up comparing people here to people back home. And the new folks just don't have a chance. Through no fault of their own, of course.

For the Horde,
LoL